Milkin' It

Chamblee, I thought we talked about this. You aren't supposed to ever grow up. 

So. The formula supplement and the bottle feeding are definitely working. Sweet baby Cham Cham has obviously gained weight and is totally filling out. As an added bonus, she sleeps soundly through the night- and would likely sleep until noon+  like her dad  if allowed. Getting her up in the morning is fun because she is the happiest baby in the world. One of two things happen. 1. She is already awake and is just playing with her toes and giggling. 2. She is asleep, I wake her up and she rolls over smiling at me. It's such an amazing feeling that she knows who I am, and when I am the first thing she sees in the morning she loves me. She smiles. She can't wait for me to hold her. It's incredible. Mostly because she has no idea how much I love her.

I have to be honest. I am really bummed that a lot of Chamblee's feedings are majority formula. Breast is Best! I never worried about my milk supply or being able to breast feed- I knew that I would be staying home with her and I knew that I would breast feed for up to a year.  The saddest thing, for me, is that she spent naptimes crying it out- which I thought was normal for her to do. Cry herself to sleep. I now realize that she was hungry. I wasn't producing enough milk for her. It breaks my heart and I can't get over it. She was hungry and I didn't feed her. I let her cry until she fell asleep. It kills me. While I don't badger myself over it- I didn't know she was hungry, and I certainly would never make her cry herself to sleep on an empty stomach- I still feel like I failed. I am her mom, and I let her down. That, friends, is the worst feeling that there is. In the world. I feel like I failed because I cannot solely breast feed her anymore. My body doesn't have the ability to produce enough milk. I know that millions of babies are formula fed and they are A-Ok. It just wasn't what I had hoped for. I feel like a lousy mom because I don't have what my baby needs. Even pumping a few times every day I only make one or two bottles. Which I am still doing. Even if it's only a bottle or two, some breast milk in her diet is better than none. How do I make myself produce more milk? Mother's Milk Herbal Tea. Check. Fenugreek. Check. Hydration. Check. Pumping. Check. It just isn't there. And I don't know what to do. It's a hopeless and crappy feeling. Boo.

On to the silver lining- I know that Chamblee is getting plenty to eat, and she is a different baby. She goes down for her nap without one fuss. She sleeps for as long as I'll let her during the day. She laughs and squeals and giggles ALL the time. She sleeps through the night. She's gaining adequate weight. I am really excited about her doctor's appointment this week to see how much weight she has gained. I now have a chunky monkey baby!!! She has rolls and her belly button has popped out. The girl can eat.

The girl also has up's. Watch her bounce:

I am so thankful for her. And I am so glad that I now know what I didn't know then, and that she is getting everything she needs.

I can't wait to show you some pictures of the HOUSE! And maybe have a housewarming bash. Anyone know what Emily Post says about time frame for a housewarming party? We are doing a lot of work around here, but I would love to have everyone over to see it. TBA I guess. . .

Until Next Time,
The Guff