K. Would. Die.

...of embarrassment. 


You see, he is out of town. I feel safe saying this publicly now- because he will be home today. But nonetheless, I'm alone. {With Bam Bam} And yes, I win the award for the most nicknames for my child. Baby + Cham= no brainer.  Anyway, I'm home alone with Bam Bam. It's thunder storming. You know, two things combined that I am scared to death of. to. death. So, naturally I have my child sleep in the same bed with me. Is she scared? Nope. Am I pathetic? Possibly. Blame it on the sweet snuggles.  

So. I am just drifting off to sleep when I am awakened by 5 gunshots. Duh. What else could it have been? I jump up, freak out, and do what everyone who is woken up during a thunderstorm does. I call 911. I mean, I can see him now. Shaking his head. But newsflash: I used to watch way too much criminal minds, law & order and 48 hours. I say used to because K made me kick the habit. Caused way too much unnecessary fear. Hm. He may have been on to something.  I still don't know this neighborhood very well. Even though homeboy next door said there's been no crime in 40 years. We were robbed because we were being watched. Still not over it. So it makes total sense to me that someone is stalking me, knows K is gone, and is waiting until the deepest dark of the night to fire 5 gunshots up into the air before intruding my home. And I should be afraid, because don't you watch prison break? Of course they deactivated our alarm system before doing so. Geez. So I call 911. I tell them I think I heard gunshots. I laugh out loud at myself because it is at this point that I realize how. ridiculous. this. is. The operator asks me if I'm ok. Oops. I am. She sends an officer out to canvas the neighborhood and talk to me. Oh. My. Word. . . And... there went the scaredy cat in me going ME. OW. Thankfully the officer was painfully nice and understanding. Telling me, like my mama, that you'd rather be safe than sorry and that it was no bother, really, because this is her job. To serve and protect. And they are up working, so there is no reason I shouldn't call. *sigh* She smiled every time I apologized and gave excuses... "Husband out of town... baby... scared... I'm sorry..." I wanted to hug her and send her off with sublime doughnuts and fresh ground coffee. Who am I kidding, I have no idea how to work our coffee maker. 


So, K would die. Not because I snuck baby girl into our bed or because I watched Greek until 2:30am to avoid sleeping without him. But because I called 911 over what was probably in my dream. Or mother nature. Or on the highway. Or some electricity going out. Or one of my dogs. Or the house settling. Or something. Oh well. Who wouldn't call 911 to protect this:

My mama always knows just the right thing to say to me when I am scared. It's always the same, and it's always true. She quotes Psalm 56:3-4. 


"When I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" 

I'm gonna try and get some sleep. Now that it's daylight. 


Until Next Time, 
The Guff