I Am Not Cool

So today I'm in line to pick Cham up at school. And I'm all texting my friend about cool stuff. Because, you know, I'm young and hip. Then all of the sudden I was like whoa. Freeze frame.

I'm in the carpool line at pre-school.

In a mini van.

I have a flippin' number hanging from my rear view mirror.

I'm in capri jeans and a v-neck with a high, curled pony tail.
Too cliche? I speak the truth. 

Oh, and I have a magnet on my car. No, not a heady band sticker. A magnet. It's a mom magnet.
PLUG

So, I ask her. Who am I? And she answers, "A mom!" And I laugh.
Then I wonder if all moms feel like this. Like they are having an out of body experience some days.
If some young(er) mom looks at me and shakes her head and thinks, "I will never be like that. I will be so cool." Because I used to think that. And here I sit. In the carpool line. Mini van. Magnet.

AND I AM COOL! Right? 

Oh. And you heard me right. I said curled, high pony. Said friend who called me a mom {gasp} also told me the best kept secret in the history of hair. Uh, the wand thing. You know, I'll never get lingo right. But it's a wand. For curling. Curling wand? That's what it should be called. I'm gonna look it up.
Stop it. It really is called a curling wand. I'm Cool and Smart. Who knew? Mom, you don't count. But thanks. 

Well, I bought one at Target because I went there for tylenol and prune juice and suddenly the curling wand was all the way at the top of my 'need' list. Had to have one. Don't you hate love when that happens? Anyway. So naturally I spent naptime reading the instructions and wearing the heat resistant glove and hoping for the mediocre. I have tried to curl my hair my whole life- curling iron, rollers, a for. real. perm. And nothing has ever worked. So I settled for a bad to the bone flat iron and thought if I couldn't have flowy waves like everyone else I would have the straightest, silkiest hair in town. Fail. Obv.

But this bad boy works. I'm on day 2 and My pony still has the beach wave going on. WORD. Bonus? I also got to pick out hairspray and that was sofun. Don't even, I know I am losing all of that cool I talked about earlier. I'm about to lose even. more. cool.

I mean, this picture is ridiculous. 

I look banana buckets.

It was meant for one person, then I decided to blog about it and it's the only picture I had of the curls. Sue me. 

Face aside, look at the curls! This was before I did anything like actually shape them or shake them or whatever you call what you do to the enormity of curls right after you curl. What am I talking about? Pro curlers are sticking with me. Maybe. This is all too much.

Bottom line- Get a curling wand. I am not cool, after all.

Until Next Time,
The Guff

PS. In the background Cham wakes up and this is what goes down:
 "Mom, what are you doing?"
"Taking a picture of my hair."
"Oh. Take a picture of my hair, please."
Done.