Straight Up Mess

So I nursed Josephine and forgot to re-button my top buttons and then I went to Trader Joe's and everyone stared at me. And I gave them all the "What are you looking at" look right back. And then, when I got into my blue mini van I noticed the breeze. And then, I rolled my eyes and windows down and took a deep breath. It could've been worse, I thought. There could've been something for them to look at. 

I'm a mess. 

You know when you hear people say that about kids and it's like a "They are so clumsy and forgetful... but darn it, they are so cute" kind of backwards compliment? I'm hoping that applies to adults me. Because really, I'm a mess. I've always been this way, and anyone who has known me for any extended period of time has probably at one time or another said aloud about me, "That girl is a straight up mess." I get it. I know it.

I'm always about 17 thoughts ahead of whatever I'm saying out loud.
I'm usually making ::kind of:: no sense.
This blog, for me, is a way to try and say what my brain is saying... because it is so jam packed I just havetogetitout. Does that make sense? You following me here? Anyway.

I'm going to write a book.
There.
I said it.

It's going to be a straight. up. mess, y'all.

I feel like it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
It feels right.

Sometimes, I think it's a really, really dumb idea.
And then, someone encourages me.
And then, I remember that this is where dreams start.
And then, I remember that I really, really love writing.
And then, I remember that not everyone will like it.
And then, I decide that I shouldn't.
Because, I mean, really. Who will read it, and what do I really have to say?
And then, I remember that this is where dreams start.
And then, someone encourages me.

So. I'm writing a book. 

It will probably take somewhere along the lines of seven to nine years to write, because, hey.
I have children that I love and that I want to give my prime time to.
But I am working on it.
It has ideas in a notebook and chapters already written in my head.
But my head is a mess.
From my brain all the way to my split ends.

A straight. up. mess.

Until Next Time,
The Guff