Yo Mama

So, I always usually write about my kids. Because I love them, because they are my life, my job, my fun times and my hard times. Because they are my friends and I spend all of most of my time with them. And yes, I'm writing about them today. But not really.

I'm not an experienced writer. I don't claim to know grammar and spelling rules. The ones I know I usually break for emphasis. I have a hard time with words- putting them together to say what I really want to say and not sounding like a choppy 3rd grader. I'm worse with speaking. Nothing comes out right and it usually confuses people because my brain goes so fast and my mouth can't keep up. So I keep opinions to myself when it comes to a lot of things. But today, just this once, I'm gonna step up on my little box of soap and speak up.

I read a blog recently written by a young lady that basically bashed women for being stay at home moms. Saying we are living in the 40's all over again and being pushed into the kitchens and told that our role is for birthing babies and not in the workplace and "what happened to us as women?!" and blah, blah, blah. It went on and on. What I wonder about this non-mother is if she ever stopped working long enough to ponder the thought that women who stayed at home might... gasp... want to.

I think it's phenomenal- the mother who has a career that she loves and returns to after giving birth. I was just not that mom. The mom who 'has it all'. The family and the job. I am that mom. The mom who works and provides for her family. And while there are gobs and gobs of articles and blogs and opinions on whether being a stay-at-home mom is a 'real job' or not, the point is, however you classify "job", being a mom is mine. It isn't for everyone, and it's not a "better" decision. It's just a decision. My decision.

My husband is not some spawn of a Mad Men character who works long days at the office and expects a clean house, children in bed and a warm dinner on the table when he walks in the door. If he did, he would be sorely disappointed most days. He is not pushing me back in a time warp and forcing me to birth and raise our children while he "lives the dream". He works hard so that I, my friends, can live my dream. By choice, and yes, by support of my husband. Who would support my decision to go back to work just as well.

We are doing what is best for us, as I am sure every mother is doing what is best for her cubs, and herself, as well. Are children who have working mothers better off than children who have stay-at-home moms? Certainly not. Are children who have stay-at-home moms better off than children who have working mothers? Ridiculous. Are stay-at-home moms better mothers than working moms? Gimme a  break. Are working moms better mothers than stay-at-home moms? No.

My problem with this judgy blog is mostly that she condemns the right of a choice. Assuming that all stay at home mothers have lost themselves. When, for some, it is quite the contrary. And while telling us that we are letting ourselves slip back into anti-feminism and we should fight back and all go back to work and hallelujah, she misses the point. What we should be doing, as mothers, is not staying home or working, but supporting each other. Because it's hard. Hard work. Something that this blogger doesn't know about. Because she isn't a mom.

And while I am ruffling feathers and stealing your attention, take a second to read this article. She says what I would've liked to have said, and in a much better way.

And that is all. For now. 

Until Next Time,
The Guff