I haven't been here in a while.
This coffee shop. This small table, with only one skinny chair, by the door- it's freezing & every time anyone comes in or goes out I get a rush of wind in my face. But it's the only table that is
always open when I come here. So I claim it. Every time.
There are metaphors here- in this table and claiming things that no one else wants to and enduring the chill. Because I want a place to sit. Or because someone told me to sit there. Getting comfortable in this seat, even when it's terribly uncomfortable and sometimes lonely.
But that's another blog. A book.
But listen. I'm turning 30 this year.
I know, who cares.
But Thirty.
I can feel change.
Honestly. In my body, I
ache over it. Not physical change,
though, trust me, it is there. I don't know what these pains are. Growing pains. Letting go pains. Eye pains.
I'm adjusting my focus. It can be painful to see things for what they really,
really are, instead of what I'd really,
really like them to be. What they used to be, or what I used to think they were.
Are you following me? But there are changes happening in the deepest and most vulnerable parts of me.
I don't care about things I used to really, deeply care about.
And I desperately care about things that I used to overlook. Ignore.
It makes my heart ache, and oddly, it makes my heart joyful.
Freed.
I'm learning.
I'm paying attention.
Some changes are happening that I cannot control, and some changes are happening because I'm learning. I'm paying attention. I'm choosing.
So, I'm sitting at a different table tonight.
That tiny little table just didn't seem appealing.
Although out of my comfort zone,
believe it or not, I asked a lady if I could share a table with her.
Why not?
New spot. New outlook. I actually took my jacket off.
Feels like a whole new place. It's warm. Feels Good.
I'll be working here, from this spot, more frequently.
If you follow me on Instagram, you know that we are working on a website.
A real one. Kraig- my tech hero husband- has been telling me for years to make the switch from blogspot to .com.
Eh, I've kind of had my hands full.
(see: overlooked, exhibit A) But in an effort to pay attention :to myself: a little bit this year, I've agreed. We've been collaborating and coding and designing.
You know, after the kids are in bed and on nights that we aren't just cuddling with each other and a glass of wine. Or finishing the laundry and packing lunches for the next day. It's a process, and we are almost done!
I would love it so much if you'd follow me on Instagram @guffeylove.
We are praying for and believing in awesome things in 2015!
Until Next Time,
The Guff
